A Path to Peace

After 6 months and a rollercoaster of emotions, a fractured hand, a dead toe nail, bollywood dancing and some great friends, I have left India and Nepal. Some of you may remember the passionate and disillusioned post I created when I was in Nepal a couple of months ago. After posting it  I was mortified that I had published such an emotional outburst that was loaded with western judgments. I tracked down internet access the next day to delete it. 

I am now more balanced in my perspective (well, more reflective anyway). This is a snapshot from my time in Nepal. I found Nepal difficult for a number of reasons but hugely enriching in a life altering way. The combination of India and Nepal has been incredible. I am not the same person who left Australia 6 months ago.  

Sri Aurobindo Yoga Mandir - my new friends!

                            

I had had a few epiphanies while I was in Nepal which are influencing my choices. A friend of mine from the Summer Peacebuilding Institute training I did last year in the USA is from Syria and he has been talking about the dictator in Syria killing the Syrian people. In Nepal they have a saying ‘same same but different’ to describe things, which is an annoyingly useless way to describe something, but I am starting to see that it has merit. The words of distress from my Syrian friend were disturbingly familiar as I think of Egypt and throughout history many other countries around the world. 

It dawned on me in a personal and profound way that when one dictator is removed, another oppressive regime soon takes their place. Of course we have all known that for a long time, but this time it feels like I got it in a different way. I understand that it has always been that way with human nature and power and thus it will always be. 

It is also the case that there have always been people who work for peace, feed the hungry, work for the environment etc, and there always will be. I realized that there is no point trying to change people, like REALLY no point. I believe people can change but the change comes from them. The saying that 'when the pupil is ready the teacher will appear' has a new meaning for me. The seed of change comes from within each of us and only when we are open can anyone else contribute to our growth. Being happy with who people are without needing them to change is such a relief. I am reading the Bhagavad Gita (Hindu spiritual text) which has been interesting. It is similar to Buddhism in that they key to liberation from suffering lies within our own reality and not the external world. Freedom lies in our own perception, not in changing others. It talks about an enlightened person being one who is equally loving and at peace with the good, the bad and the ugly, because all are a part of life. 

From Khopra Ridge, Annapurna Ranges, Himalayas

The Gita talks about the importance of letting go of needing to achieve results from our actions as clinging to outcomes creates suffering. I can relate to the suffering that comes from being focused on reaching targets, achieving goals and striving for particular outcomes when I look at our western culture. It is a pressure in the business world for staff to produce results that creates a lot of stress. 

 

The sum total of all these musings is that I realized that I could spend my life trying to change the external world, basically running around in circles as there will always be some variation of what we have today given human nature. It is like trying to fill a bucket that does not have a bottom. This idea does not appeal to me. I like making a difference but I also need to look after my own mental, emotional, spiritual and physical development.

 

Holi Day Nepal - Kolhuwa 

So, what does all this mean. Who knows, but I am considering things like coming back to Nepal and volunteering in their rural ashram in Kolhuwa, Terai, to teach the kids for 6 months. I love the kids so working with the children would be fun. It feels like a spiritual journey too, as I would be stepping out of the mainstream world for a while. There is meditation and it is a very peaceful place which means the volunteer work would be in a setting that would help me grow too. And in 6 months I know I could make a consistent and useful difference to the kids - oh there I go, looking for outcomes. But, it also feels scary. Scary due to me having to deal with loneliness, which has been a factor for me in Nepal.  As a social bunny, I am sure you can fathom the challenge of working in a non English speaking culture in a remote area and the challenge of it.

 

Yet the peace and pace of life in Kolhuwa is incredible. It feels so healthy. Balanced. Fulfilling. There is something about being in the mountains or in nature in Nepal that feels transcendental in its beauty. It is not something I feel in the Australian wilderness, but here, there is something magical about it and I feel pulled to spend time in nature here. So some ideas are emerging. Less focus on saving the world from nuclear bombs and more on making a difference in small and peaceful ways.

 

It is a nice feeling to let go of world peace and focus on Celia peace. It feels a lot less frustrating (although I may take that one back!). I am aware how much my righteous opinionated mind has to say about Nepal, but instead of getting sucked in by my heavily complaining mind, I am very slowly getting better at seeing it as my mind having a tantrum and can let it go a little more easily. I want to become much more skilled at letting stuff go and the environment in rural Nepal has helped with that. There are so many hygiene issues, isolation, cultural difficulties and language barriers but in the end it is just life as normal in the area. The community in Nepal have been teaching me Nepali which is great. I loved that! I am looking forward to posting on my Tassie friend Guy’s FB wall that guy means cow in Nepali - don't worry Guy, cows are sacred here J

 

Rice Fields, Kolhuwa Nepal

If I don’t come back to Nepal I would like to find another place where the natural environment is so beautiful and the cultural elements suit me. The kids here kept trying to make me promise to come back which was hard because part of me wants to, but a large part of me wants to keep moving on and I am aware of how hard I found it in Nepal. It has helped me realise that I would like to try some similar setups in other places.  I think that teaching children how to meditate is a fabulous tool and way to assist in them developing emotional and mental strength. We could do with a lot more of it in the west. Here, the young children work alone in classrooms without teachers quietly and teach themselves. That wouldn’t happen in Australia, they would all run off to the mall or something.

So the journey continues and is changing me. Now I am in the USA at the Summer Peacebuilding Institute http://www.emu.edu/cjp/spi/ learning from inspiring people from many countries around the world about developing peace. I will run a training in Open Space Technology Facilitation  http://openspaceworld.org/ and a workshop on Peace and Leadership. My focus is on the internal journey now. Peace starts with me. As Harrison Owen says in the Open Space Handbook

Turn up

Be present

Tell the truth

Let it all go