Heart Beat and Bombs

Finding our hearts in the midst of Chaos

So peace-building is complicated. There are so many acts of violence in Kenya that have mysterious origins and as an average person, I have no idea how to get to the truth of what is going on, who may be responsible and what the motives are. My friends and colleagues share theories and guess about it all but we don’t have any real evidence.

And so we are left helpless as bombs get thrown into public buses and detonated in public markets killing people who are just trying to live their lives. The senselessness of it all is very disempowering for anyone committed to peace. Well, for me anyway.

There are fewer and fewer places where people can feel they can let their guard down and feel safe. Emotionally and literally. Nowhere is sure of being safe and that is something we live with.

Life is uncertain for everyone. In the west we live in an illusion that we can control what happens in our lives, and for much of our lives it seems that is true. We can work hard, get a predictable salary, and accumulate what we can afford. However, from nowhere we can get sick, someone we love dies, or something happens and our world is turned upside down.

For me, the predictability of my life in Australia was safe, but ultimately not fulfilling. I love Australia. Having just returned there for a couple of months I am in awe of how generous people are in Australia, how beautiful it is and what great systems we have (relatively speaking of course).

Speaking at International Women's Day for Firbank Grammar School in Melbourne Australia March 7th 2014

In Kenya I am reminded every day that we do not have control. The chaos is much more palpable and the uncertainty of life is everywhere. There is a buzz to the craziness and while people are worried, we still live our lives – a less expressive version of our lives, but we live it anyway.

Having spent much of my life in an environment where it is safe to be all of who I am, I am acutely aware of how much my own self expression has shrunk under the fear and mistrust that permeates us in Kenya. The last 2 years in Kenya has shown me that I am not alone in how I feel. Many people in Kenya feel constrained and unable to be themselves. This has opened an opportunity for Omni One to provide an important role in the peace building process in Kenya.

Kenya's First Festival of Dreams Program kicks off in Nairobi Feb 2014. A safe space for young people to dream and be supported through mentoring to make their dreams a reality

So we are now running programs where people can come back to their hearts, be all of who they are and feel their peace. It may sound a bit fluffy, but in this harsh environment it is so easy to forget our humanity, forget how to soften, to put the armor down and just be a human. The struggle to survive and the scramble for what seems to be very few opportunities can lead us to forget our vulnerability, our love and our gentle side. We can end up aggressive and hard. The fear hardens our hearts.

Omni One organised a trauma healing program for people affected by the Nairobi terrorist attack that occurred on September 21^st 2013. The date of the attack is one I will never forget as I had organized to go to that area that evening to have dinner with my friends for my birthday.

We used 5Rhythms, Gestalt and other healing proceses together for the trauma healing program. It was so successful that we were asked to develop a retreat for counselors who have been working with the victims of the Nairobi Terrorist Attack, as many are burnt out and suffering vicarious trauma.

From the healing programs we are designing it is clear there is a gap for practitioners and NGO workers in Nairobi to get some regeneration in their work. We are also clear that body work is particularly powerful.

So we are bringing dance, the arts and play in a therapeutic space for people to come and regenerate. The way we regenerate is to be able to put down the walls and allow our spirits to be nurtured, allow our hearts to soften and connect in a safe space.

Trauma Healing Retreat for Counsellors using dance, drumming and arts

So while I am surrendering to the natural chaos that is Kenya, we are providing a small nook of support for people to heal and find their peace.